Signs

Aside from all the signs that my motivation is decreasing as I approach my first day of double whammy finals that signifies I might once again disappoint myself, there are some important signs that hit me today. Combined with a kind of heat I've never experienced, I had a huge migraine that resulted in a complete waste of a precious day.

Such is life.

心血来潮想写中文。

今天，我对自己有更深一层的了解。我了解到其实我最害怕的事是失去我心爱的人们。偶尔，我和其他人料到有关婆婆时，我会透露其实我会给自己有个心理准备他随时都会离我而去，永不回来。但是，我今天发现到若我失去了时常斗嘴的弟弟或脾气暴躁的爸爸，我会撑不住。若是妈妈，我觉得我会完完全全地崩溃。

我觉得与我同感的人都会想要做个孝顺的孩子，可是这事情真的不简单。因为孩子也是有着个人的性格。父母要的，未必是孩子想要的。我们都有自己的主义。

I wish school taught us how to behave in times of grief. Pendidikan Moral and Pendidikan Sivik taught us all about celebratory customs and festivities, but why is there no guide on how to respond in the face of unfortunate events.

Is it selfish of me to think about my family and I in the face of a friend's grief? I hope not. I hope everyone walked away knowing our lives aren't truly ours. God can call you home when he sees fit.

My headache is growing, but before I leave,

Love deeply. Love genuinely. Love your family.

You could love your s/o that way, but I'd only recommend it if you're married. Then again, what is marriage? What's the value of marriage?

Everything is so absolutely meaningless.

I feel so much anger now it's not real.

Momentum today is Chamonix, with a goat.

Charmini in Chamonix.

Now that's a good sign.