Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown

Peanuts sure is one of those cartoons that weren't made with children in mind.

I find it hilarious that a four year old shared the same feeling as I am currently feeling. A constant sadness even when things are alright.

Maybe that's the reason why I like Charlie Brown by Coldplay so much HAHAHAHA. I am the Charlie Browniest.

I really want to go back to London. I'd be happy just sitting in the park watching the clouds go by at Primrose Hill. I really miss being alone and not having to meet any expectations. I miss observing people and eavesdropping on conversations. I miss staring at loving couples on the Tube, a part of my secretly wishing how nice it would be to have someone brave the horrid cold of winter. I miss Christmas sleeves for cups (SERIOUSLY. THE CUTEST THINGS EVER! Quite proud of myself for not attempting to keep them..)

I miss Greenwich. A lot actually. How I managed to spend so many days in Greenwich alone when people do it as a day trip is evident of how accepting I am towards a quiet life.

But I also miss Central. I miss the buzz. I miss having something to do every corner you turn. I miss accessibility. I miss the extremely noisy Tube and the warmth of being sheltered underground. I miss long escalator rides going up up up and going down down down.

I'm really blessed to have a few people who are nice to me. I don't think there's anything I can give them or help them with, but they're still around. Sometimes I wish I could tell them the truth about all my thoughts, but I'm afraid they'll leave me if I do.

Sometimes I think people will stick around for long, but they don't.

Most of the time, they just really don't. And I guess I'm still getting used to the fact that I won't ever find people who stick around.

But to these two precious persons, thank you. Thank you cyw & essy.

It's time to find a forest that can allow me to live the rest of my life out.

Can't wait for Christmas, maybe I'll go to London again, aye? Dreamers never die.